Sandwiches.

Part 4 of the “Occupational Hazards” Story Arc.

Being poor sucks, but what’s more blowful is having really over-protective parents. I remember back in high school, when I’d simply go out to Steak n’ Shake with my friends, my dad would warn me not “to do the ‘X'” (as in “ecstasy”) as he saw the dangers of teen drug abuse on 20/20. Furthermore, back in my younger, fashion-forward college freshman days, I’d wear a sweat-wristband, in which my dad warned, “kids wear those things to say, ‘Hey, I’m available for sex’!” Or so says Barbara Walters.